Finding balance

I found a calmer, more balanced version of me at Whitecap Dakota First Nation and she followed me home.

Original photo of the sunset at the Dakota Dunes Resort

Today, I am exhausted but calm.

I have been thinking about the calm and how it arrived. I found a calm, more balanced version of me on the writer’s retreat and it appears she followed me home.

My journey Whitecap Dakota First Nation land to stay at the Dakota Dunes Resort on January 10th was filled with podcasts about Oneness, about how media and society try to set us asunder from one another; how we are influenced by stories, language, movies, and more to see otherness rather than oneness.

I stopped to fuel up on the last leg of my journey. Returning to the vehicle, I chose silence to join Mother Nature in her reflective silence.

Twenty minutes out Whitecap, I felt compelled to channel sound. The tones that came forward were rhythmic and sweet, like a young woman’s song to her lover which in this case was the land; the feeling that returned was one of welcome, a coming home of sorts.

The channeling came to a natural conclusion just as I saw the sign welcoming me to the Whitecap Dakota First Nation.

The land stretched out far with gentle dunes and wild prairie grass poking up through the snow; no sign of short shorn single crop fields here, instead a vast array of native prairie brush coexisting in perfect harmony. Snowfall has been scarce this year, leaving light dusting over the tops of the dunes, with slightly more snow settled into the valleys.

The road to the resort cuts through more of this unspoiled terrain. Beside the road, there were prairie grasses as tall as my SUV; swaying, it seemed to be offering a gentle wave of welcome. The feeling of peace within increased.

The Dakota Dunes Resort is beautiful. The architecture of the windows reminiscent of teepees; buffalo statues perched on high greet me. There is a world class casino attached to the resort, but nothing bright and garish to announce it. The entire complex, including the road leading up, is in harmony with the landscape.

The building was spacious and clean, filled with natural elements. I felt the need to speak in hushed tones there; I was in a sacred space.

My room was lovely with an amazing depiction of Chief Darcy Bear’s headdress above one bed; of course, that would be the one I chose to sleep in.

Cari, my writing retreat friend, arrived earlier than I; we were anxious to catch up over dinner, so setting up my room would wait.

At the Moose Wood Home Fire Grill, we were fortunate to be seated in front of the fireplace, which is situated on an outside wall, granting us the view of the gather circle, teepee and fire pit. The food was delicious and the conversation with my dear friend wonderful. We are five hours apart and chose to meet here which is close to a midpoint between our homes. Our plan was to meet for breakfast and dinner daily; all other time was committed to writing in our separate rooms.

We parted ways with a plan to write, then meet for a dip in the hot tub before settling in to sleep. I searched throughout the suitcase for my bikini, finding only the top had been packed. In my hurry, what I thought was the bottoms were actually a rolled-up pair of tights, which would not do! Deep sigh… there would be no hot tub for me tonight, or at all if the gift shop did not have bathing suits. Still calm, I informed my friend I would not be joining her.

Nesting in my room included moving the small table and chairs in front of the generous window; my sacred space included a candle, crystals, and cards, along with the requisite laptop and journal. My room and the entire resort felt safe and secure; even alone in my room. In my imagination, hotels with casinos had a much different feel; one wonders why I don’t write fiction with the tales I can create in my head!

My sacred writing space setup, complete with crystal, candle, hand painted scarf from Maui, and new teacup from the gift shop.

I wrote for a while, covering up all the offending lights with towels or facecloths, dimming the glow from various electronics to create the perfect amount of darkness for a good night’s sleep in my comfy bed.

At 3:15 am, I awoke abruptly to what appeared to be a party of revelers in the hallway. Three or four very loud talkers just checked into the room adjacent mine with their vocal volumes jacked up to eleven. They carried on this way until 6:30 am, when they took their loud selves back from whence they came.

I am a lady who likes her sleep, nay… NEEDS her sleep; normally that racket would have been met with strong emotions, judgement, and unfavorable opinions. This night, however, I simply had questions:

I wonder why they are choosing to have their loud discussion this time of night?

What are they talking about?

Are they longtime friends meeting here where their journeys intersect and they only have this time to catch up?

Oh, that man has an infectious laugh; his is the type of laughter I love to bring forward.

Instead of annoyance or anger, I thought, what will I do since I am obviously not going to sleep now? Write? Read? Listen to meditations with ear buds?

It dawned on me that I had not made time to go to the Whitecap Dakota First Nation website to view the Stories of Saskatchewan Dakota Elders, so I did that. These short videos of wisdom and culture are inspiring as well as heart breaking to know the beauty that existed before their way of life was interrupted.

I was proud of myself for the calm, practical reaction in response to the disruption. The words of the elders assisted my state of mind, after viewing I drifted back to a peaceful rest.

After a delicious breakfast meeting, sharing plans for our books, discussing topics, and tossing ideas, I headed to the gift shop in search of bikini bottoms. Unfortunately, they do not stock those but it is only fifteen minutes to Saskatoon, the helpful clerk suggested.

Returning to my room to write, I found myself distracted. The pool was located on the seventh floor of the hotel and surrounded by floor to ceiling windows overlooking unspoiled dunes. I was really looking forward to spending some time there. A quick google search told me there was a shop on this side of Saskatoon but that would mean at least two hours of my time away from writing. I decided to go and told Cari of my plan. She encouraged me to search my suitcase for something suitable; to save time and money. I had a pair of clean, dark underpants which might do the trick. She gave a thumbs up, I checked with my husband over text; he seconded the motion so off I went in my makeshift bathing attire.

I had the entire room to myself. It was bright, beautiful, clean and peaceful. After swimming a few laps, I seated myself in the warm water, enjoying the jets until once again, I felt inspired to channel sound. What an amazing experience to allow beautiful tones to rise forth and bounce off the water, amplified by the windows on every side. Peaceful, connected, and calm is how I returned to writing.

Sunset from my hotel room at the Dakota Dunes Resort and Casino

My husband firmly believed I needed and deserved time away, free of drama and responsibility to work on my book. To that end, he created a “retreat mode” on my phone; allowing only texts from him and Cari to get through. On the first day, I made the mistake of checking a voice message; it was from my ladies’ network with a request about a project I was working on. I was mildly perturbed as I had been clear that I would be offline for a few days. I opted to text back, briefly answering the questions and reminding her that any additional requests would wait until Monday. The annoyance faded fast with the choice to maintain the boundary around my personal space and time.

The calm, cool, and in control version of me remained.

The final challenge arrived on the last night of our trip. We were having our last meal together. Cari excused herself briefly leaving me alone anticipating decaf coffee and dessert. I made the mistake of looking at my phone and realized I had missed a call. My youngest son was away for work and the friend he was staying with was the caller, from two hours earlier. There was a voicemail telling me that he had found my son passed out from low blood sugar; unresponsive, bleeding and badly need stitches to his lip. I called immediately.

Cari returned to the table to find me speaking of doctors, and providing as much information as possible. I texted my family, discovering they were all aware. It was all handled and they had conspired to ensure I was kept out of the loop; there being nothing I could do from where I was.

Remarkably, my calm state remained. I did not have any thoughts of “poor me… why can’t I just have four days without drama”. Once I found out that my husband, son, and father of my kids were in the know, I let it go; returning to my room to write, then settle down for a final night, undisturbed by internal worries or external noise.

Mother Nature threw another challenge my way when it came time to load up and head into Saskatoon for lunch with a dear friend. The weather at the time we were there were the coldest days of this Saskatchewan winter; minus 32 Celsius with a wind chill down to minus 50. BRRRRR! My faithful SUV started up without hesitation, it was the hatch that had issues, it opened just fine. I loaded my luggage and then discovered that the mechanism had frozen in the locked position. There would be no closing of the hatch.

Having been raised by a farm boy, I knew how to solve this particular problem with the proper tools, which I did not have on hand. What I did have was a large selection of bungee cords that my husband mercilessly teases me about. I found the longest one and attached one end to the roof rack, strung it across the door and hooked the other end under the bumper. Voila, it was closed.

My farmer fix worked so well that the sensor only popped on twice briefly during the trip into the city. By the time I arrived, the heat from the car thawed it out and I was able to close it properly.

Once again, I remained unphased by a challenge.

It seems I discovered a calmer and more balanced version of me at Whitecap Dakota First Nation and she followed me home!

Working away on my book about love…

What am I reading?

It is never just one book with me. Judith Kusel’s book Why I was born in Africa is a wild ride into the energy lines of the planet, pyramids, reincarnation and more. It is a bit of an intense read so I have been taking it slowly. I am truly interested in the follow up book to this called France: The Secret Knowledge of Mary Magdalene, The Cathars, Templars and Avalon which is waiting on the shelf to be read after the Africa book. I have a thing about reading them in order.

The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan is a fascinating author who writes “fiction”, who I discovered watching Open Minds with Regina Meredith on Gaia. As you may have guessed, my current obsession is Mary Magdalene.

Spotlight on my fave Substack peeps:

Have you discovered Sue Ferrera of Tales of a Wayward Yogini yet? If you haven’t, you should and not just because she interviewed me about Forever Five, my book. Tired of reading? Listen to our interview here.

Ali Griffin Vingiano is at it again! Last year around this time, she inspired me to explore The Artist’s Way in a group she will be leading starting soon! Although I still don’t have a great habit of going on artist’s dates, I have been doing morning pages most days for the past year because of Ali. Join us, it’s going to be great!

That’s all for this week.

In Oneness,

Patricia (Patty) Meier