The Mother Wound: Part twelve
Straight from the journal pages…
March 30, 2023
I had a brief chat with The Creative last night and cut it short before it had an opportunity to go to the drama. I feel lighter since I have not been hearing about all of her drama. There is an interesting correlation between letting go of this relationship and my business picking up. Valuing myself and not letting my own energy slide down the emotional scale likely makes me more attractive to clients.
How are ancient wounds connected to communication issues?
The assumptions we make about what another person is saying or why they are doing something may be directly related to something in family history.
For instance, let us say I have distrust of other women, not just some women, but all women. That distrust, and need to be in control of relationships, friendships, has always been in place. Where on earth did it come from? As a baby, we come into the world innocent and full of love. Where did the understanding to distrust others seep in?
It took a long time for me to discover the answer to that question. It was because my mother did not trust other women in her life and this belief was born out of understandable circumstance. I will not go into the details here, as that is not the point. The issue here is that without ever sitting me down to explain at a young age that my sisters from other misters were not to be trusted, I learned it anyhow. My body absorbed that understanding at the emotional level and registered the information as truth in the subconscious mind. It took many years to recognize this fact consciously, then many years after that to intentionally adjust those records.
Hypnosis yanked out the remaining roots of those beliefs swiftly and permanently. My life is a safer place now that I am not looking around expecting that backstab from everyone.
My clients have other beliefs that have corrupted their relationships at both intimate and friendship levels.
It is important to question our beliefs. In the corporate world, I learned a problem solving tool called 5 Whys. It is a tool to find out the true root cause of any problem. We used it for everything from why we are capturing certain pieces of customer information, to why there is a particular policy in place.
5 Whys is useful when analyzing people’s habits, beliefs, issues, and identities. I am grateful for my years in the corporate world and all of the training I received. It is highly beneficial in this business of understanding people, including myself.
So let’s try this with my belief that women are not to be trusted.
Why do you believe women cannot be trusted?
Because they might be talking about me behind my back.
Why do you think they would do that?
Because they probably do not like me and are just pretending.
Why would they pretend to like you?
They probably want something from me and that is why they are pretending to like me.
Why couldn’t they just like you, for you?
Well because I am not….. fill in the blank.
Why do you believe that?
Bingo! Here is the problem. I hold a belief inside that I reflect onto everyone else. The key here is to work on self-love. In my case, working on my own love of self helped me recognize the lack of it in others. This skill of recognition now aids me in helping clients find it for themselves.
See that is the root cause for a lot of our issues, lack of self-love. If we do not have that inside of ourselves, we are constantly seeking it from outside ourselves.
Love cannot be found in addiction to food, cigarettes, alcolhol, drugs, or even sex. The feelings we get from those habits are not sustainable and honestly, do not hold a candle to feel true affection for ourselves.
Healing the entire world begins with healing these ancient wounds that stand in the way of loving ourselves.
Ho’oponopono is one of many tools that helps to excavate all the beliefs that stand in the way of true self-love and acceptance.
My mom is messaging my husband for assistance with her electronics. She has locked herself out of her desktop, needs the remote reprogrammed, and something about her cell phone. Her tendency to change passwords on a whim and forget what the new ones are is maddening. He has set her up with a password keeper tool, but she cannot understand it, and keeps messing it up. Now, she has an Amazon Prime account and lordy, I hope she has a good password on there!
There is a part of me that wishes he never started helping her. She is a lot and he tells me not to feel bad about him helping her. Also, I just do not enjoy how she gushes over him, but cannot say a nice thing about me at all. I am tired of her. I guess I am being petty, and if she cannot be nice to me, she cannot have my husband’s time either. I know that is wrong and I need to work through those feelings. He is entirely supportive and I have been completely open about her treatment of me and my resulting issues.
I need to let that go. I really, really do.
Reflections from The Present
It is November of 2024 as I share the journal pages of healing my mother wound. There is a myriad of emotions that rise up as I read and reflect on this journey. At times, I feel ashamed for my lack of patience with my mom, other times I feel embarrassed for how often I let others take advantage of me, but the overwhelming feeling I am experiencing is pride.
I am incredibly proud of the person who I am on the other side of this healing experience. I am calm, neutral, and loving. At first, I did not want to share with anyone that I thought I was done with this old energy or of resentment; I was afraid the other shoe would drop and I would pedal back to my old ways. It has been four months with no relapse into the old pit of despair.
If you are curious as to why I am sharing the experiences I had with The Creative, it will come clear shortly, I promise. Keep reading if you want to share my lessons about fawning, competition, and finally embracing others and fully trusting my own inner compass.
Thank you for sharing your precious moments with me on this journey. If you have insights, aha moments, or *cledons as Colette Baron-Reid likes to call them, please do share. I would love to hear from you!
*Cledon - when the Universe uses someone else to bring a message to you. Linked to the Temple of Delphi. Sometimes this might come through a book, billboard, or a song on the radio.