Sunset from Bald Butte in Cypress Hills Interprovincial Park, Saskatchewan
A very strange thing has happened to me and I am not sure how to explain it. I believe it may be a result of repeated hypnosis sessions where I turn issues over to my Super Conscious or Higher Self. During the Utopia Hypnosis Protocol sessions that I conduct as well as participate in as a client during trades with other certified practitioners, I experience a deep, hypnotic sleep state where we are asked to draw a heavy curtain between the conscious mind and the work that the Super Conscious is doing on our behalf. Lately, I have found that curtain seems to be making some very big changes in my day-to-day life. I will provide an example.
For many years, imposter syndrome is something that would creep up on me. I know this is inherited from my parents and it is an issue that kept me home from many interesting invitations due to the belief that I couldn’t possibly fit in, was not good enough, smart enough…
The more work I do in hypnosis, journalling, and clearing through meditation with Reiki, the less I have this experience. It is as if those feelings simply are not available to me anymore. Instead of worrying about how I might be perceived, what might happen, and if I fit in, I am simply enjoying each and every moment; I have replaced “what if” with “what is possible?” in most situations.
Last week my husband and I went camping to an amazing interprovincial park called Cypress Hills on the border of Saskatchewan and Alberta. To give you an idea of what this area is like, it looks as though Mother Nature dug up some of Banff and plunked it on the border between our two provinces.
View of the trees from my hammock
The weeks leading up to our trip, I did not experience any travel anxiety which has been so severe in the past as to take away my desire to leave home. This did not happen. Each day was spent enjoying the moment I was in; moments writing daily Morning Pages out on the deck while listening to birds, meeting new clients, and making campsite appropriate menus, all without the usual fear.
Today, I received an invitation to an event at an acquaintance’s cabin and I simply considered the idea based on whether or not I had existing plans without fear or hesitation. This is an out of the ordinary response for the previous version of me.
I will attempt to explain what has changed. The best way I can describe it is that things that used to trigger me do not seem to be able to find their way to their associated emotions. It is like the command link is broken; I wait for the anxiety to rise up and then… nothing.
I like to explain triggers and associated responses to be like ruts in a country road. When driving down a dirt road, the wheels fall naturally into the ruts of the previous drivers leading to the most commonly visited destinations. In the case of a trigger, as soon as the stimulus arises, the wheels drop into the rut and I am no longer steering or in control of how I feel. The same old emotions rise up, creating the same reactions and feelings accompanied by the fight, flight, freeze response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Only now, it seems the road is paved and there seems to be a lovely detour into peace.
Today it felt like the emotion was there but just out of the reach of my fingertips. WHAT A GLORIOUS FEELING!
While I was swinging away in the hammock, gazing up at the wise old Lodgepole Pine trees, I realized I had not spent any time worrying about the future or the past; I was living completely in the present moment, enjoying it to the fullest degree.
The only explanation I can find is that I have cleared away the triggers and planted peace in their place with the help of hypnosis, Reiki, and journalling away the past.
It is a lovely place to be, right smack dab in the middle of the present moment.
I wish you peace…