I did everything they said... Why am I unhappy?

AKA Why are so many people not following their parent's recipe for the perfect life?

When I am not writing, I am a certified hypnotherapist and energy healer; many of my clients are in their early thirties and experiencing similar issues of dissatisfaction with life.

I did everything they said would give me fulfillment, everything that defined a successful life, so why am I not happy?

For the longest time, the prevailing belief was: finish school, get a degree which leads to a good job, get married, have kids and VOILA! you are fulfilled. You are a success! Yay you… If we look around at the people who promote this dream, are they truly happy?

A few days ago, my husband forwarded a short to me that asked the following questions:

What is the life you wanted for yourself as a child?

What is the life your parents wanted for you?

Which version of life are you currently living?

Are you happy?

Try as I might to find that short again so I could give credit, I could not… if any reader knows the origin, please tell me in the comments and I will update the credits.

Lots of clients come to me with this exact issue. They are living the life that society told them would make them happy. This is not so. Every one of us came here with our own unique goals and gifts. We need to follow our own path, dream our own dreams. We, out of billions of souls, were chosen to inhabit these bodies on Earth, at this time to add our secret special spice to the blend. If we only do what everyone else does, and has done in the past, the mixture will be bland. We will have regrets.

Many of the people I work with simply do not realize they have choices; not every choice is easy or without challenge but there is always a choice.

Charlie Brown of Simple and Straightforward wrote an excellent blog on Outside the Box thing, linked above. I love how she lays out alternatives to societal norms.

I believe there is a version of the life we dreamed about as a child that we can live in our adult lives. I dreamed of being a teacher when I was a child. I admired the teachers who taught us to dream beyond the curriculum. In grade three, Mrs. Cannon taught about other countries through stories, pictures, which lead to experiences. She would have us research then draw, write, and use a tape recorder to demonstrate what we learned. When we studied Hawaii, she had us make grass skirts out of paper and taught us to hula, followed by a feast of fresh coconut, pineapple and bacon wrapped bananas. I wanted to be like her and teach to inspire.

That dream died because I thought my family could not afford for me to attend university in another city; the subject I wanted to teach was not available locally. I did not even ask, just assumed it was impossible.

The dream of teaching came back several times, finally taking root with Reiki. In my classes I add spiritual concepts along with the traditional Reiki lessons, to inspire my students to want to know more; students begin at age twelve and up. I love seeing their eyes get wider when they think about things differently.

This is the life I wanted for myself as a child and now I am living my best life.

What did you dream about when you were younger?

What made you feel amazing as a child?

How can you bring even a little bit of that into your current life?

I encourage you to take a few minutes to dream a little dream of who you used to be. What were your days filled with when you were five? Did you sing to yourself or dance around the house? Did you enjoy drawing, cooking with a family member or maybe riding your bike around the neighbourhood? What adult version of that could you do today, even for a half hour per week to bring back some of that childhood joy and wonder into your current life?

This doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. The idea is to give your inner child some time to play and discover, not to monetize the hobby, just play with no focus on a deliverable. Play for the sake of playing and when you do, you may find that the way to your path might just emerge right in front of you.