Freedom Understood

Freedom: a word to guide me through 2025...

Every year for about the past five, I have selected a word to guide me through the year in place of a New Year’s resolution. Over the past few years, some of my words have been:

Allow

Trust

Boundaries

Oneness

This year, required a greater search before I landed on a word for 2025, fluctuating between Balance and Freedom. Fast forward to New Year’s Eve, while sitting at my computer mindlessly playing around, an understanding of Freedom settled over me in a way I had not experienced before.

As a Canadian, I live in a fairly free country. We have some rules and regulations, some taxes to pay, and free health care. I understand that freedom is not available everywhere. The freedom I am referring to is within my own mind and heart.

In the past three years, I have gained freedom of mind in a way that I did not know was possible, by allowing myself to consciously choose my ruminations. The work I have done to set and most importantly, hold boundaries has not been easy. It is one thing to make a statement about what I want from others, but quite another to hold the line as those you love are edging up to it.

The hardest part of boundary setting happened inside my own head; giving myself the permission to choose myself, to protect my time and my own peace by saying no. Even saying, “Yes, but…” was difficult for a recovering people pleaser like myself.

Hey Patty, can you do such and such for me? Yes, but I am not available to do that until this time and date, will that work for you?

I would set my terms and then internally torture myself.

Why didn’t I just do what they wanted, when they wanted? What if they are mad at me?

You know you aren’t doing anything THAT important, that you couldn’t have stopped to help them.

You aren’t THAT tired; you should have just done it. What if they get angry with you? You are always thinking about yourself, instead of other people.

Whose voices are those anyhow? I recognize the last one as my father, beyond that they are likely a combination of real and perceived expectations. My husband has been instrumental in helping me choose myself. I appreciate him immensely. I remember when I first met him at the company where we both worked. I was appalled at his attitude and willingness to say no to thing that were “not his job.” I was trained to just do what was handed to me from anyone I perceived as a superior; his approach and self-assuredness astounded me!

The reason I choose a word for the year is to remind myself of my goal, which consists of a large undertaking that I need a conscious reminder of to achieve step by step; definitely a journey not a quick trip to healing.

Last year, the word was Oneness. I chose that to support my goal of sending love to everyone. I may not choose to spend time with every person I meet, or even some who I already know. I do not have to like everyone and the choices they make, but I need to respect their free will, and their experiential path. I do not know their life plan, life purpose, or why they are making the choices they make, but I can choose to send love to the spark of light in them which is equal and connected to the spark of light in me. That was what having Oneness posted in my office in beautiful script reminded me.

This year Freedom is to remind me not only that others have free will to express themselves as they wish, but

that I do too. I am free to choose where to spend my time and energy. When I make the choice to say no, or choose to do something away from the crowd, I can choose to be at peace with that decision in my mind.

These are not new understandings for me, but somehow the depth of how I understand changed on New Year’s Eve. I had a vision of a locked cell and the clear realization that I held the key the whole time.

I would lock myself away in guilt over choosing myself with the voice of my keeper reminding me of how selfish I was, how I never thought of anyone else. That voice was a fraud. It was an echo of the voice of my father, possibly others as well, and who knows who put that idea in his head as I imagine that proclamation to come so easily from him, that it was also planted originally in his mind, likely from his own mother.

I can choose to say HUSH! I can choose to protect my peace and remind myself that I have freedom. I have free will to choose where to place my attention and energy.

The best way that I can explain how the understanding of this concept is now versus before is with a visual:

Imagine a paper boat of understanding floating upon the surface of the water. It bobs and flows with the waves. It is pretty to look at and imagine going for a sail but the true appreciation of it is not fully immersed. Now, the concept has sunk fully into the depths of me and I fully embrace freedom as being mine. The boat disintegrated into its essence and its concept, freedom, fully merged with my mind.

I am certain I will have more to say about freedom as the year progresses. This is enough for today as well all stumble forward into the New Year, recovering from too much consumption of brain numbing turkey and with our social batteries registering low from all the peopling.

I wish you the best in 2025. If you also choose a word, theme, or concept to guide you into your new year, versus a resolution, I would love to hear from you!

Thank you for spending some of your precious moments here with me.

Sending you infinite waves of Love and Light,