This piece is a continuation of the following: Ancient Wounds and inherited prejudice
I recently attended a gathering of women called StrongHer Together, founded by a Laura Lawrence after she suffered significant mental health trauma during a divorce from her first husband. I had not paid attention to the speaker list, jumping at the chance to go to an event for women, held by women, with women speakers openly sharing their struggles and victories.
Arriving at the venue, I spied a lady sitting all by herself at a table and asked if I could join her. Absolutely! I introduced myself and started the usual get to know one another conversation. She had retired from a long nursing career, to move into the role of nursing instructor. I relayed that I too had retired from my corporate job two years ago to focus all my time on Sparks of Healing as a certified hypnotist and Reiki Master Teacher. Her eyes lit up when I said that I taught Reiki; I want to learn more wholistic healing, she divulged. I am of Cree descent and am currently learning traditional wisdom from the Elders. I told her that I have been praying and asking to learn more about First Nations’ wisdom and traditions for years; maybe we could do an exchange of information? She smiled even more broadly and said YES! She would love that. We exchanged information right away with plans to find a time to share wisdom.
What an amazing gift, to sit with a woman who is willing to broaden my understanding of First Nations’ knowledge; who I have something of value to her to trade for her time and wisdom.
That was the first coincidence.
The day had more beautiful surprises in store! Among the day’s speakers was Aly Bear, the Third Vice Chief of the Federation of Sovereign Indigenous Nations (FSIN), a proud mother to two daughters, a lawyer, and a descendant of Dakota, Anishinaabe, and Nehiyaw heritage from the Whitecap Dakota First Nation; the very place that triggered strong feelings in me mere days before. I listened to Aly with my heart wide open, wanted to understand with absolute compassion what she had to share. An articulate and engaging speaker, she told of her journey: a debilitating car accident, systemic racism, the struggle of being a single mom working towards a law degree, and her passion for defending the vulnerable people who are routinely targeted by law enforcement.
She spoke to us with passion and a lack of blame. At one point, it became obvious that some of the attendees were getting uncomfortable. She stopped, made a joke to ease the tension, and then addressed the ill ease head on. She did not want anyone to feel uncomfortable; she wanted them to do what they can to make things better in the present; ensure that our children and grandchildren do not mock the little boy with the braid in school, that we teach them to be curious, and that they speak up where they see injustice and bullying. Her goal, she said, is to do what can be done to bring understanding and peace between the original peoples of the land and those descended from the settlers. There is wisdom among both peoples and together we could work to find balance in humanity
What are the odds that I would find two women who could help me learn so quickly after embarking on this quest? This is why I do not believe in coincidence in life.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear…
Yes, I have definitely heard that my entire life, however, I thought I WAS ready, a long time ago. Why did it take this long for me to meet someone with the knowledge, time, and willingness to share with me? The answer came to me on the two-hour drive home from the gathering.
Yes, you were ready, however, your motivation was not pure.
The realization came upon me that although I wanted to learn more about the ways and beliefs of the indigenous for quite some time, the door had not opened. Previously, I wanted to learn so that I could know. I have now reached a point where my desire to learn is fueled by wanting to understand.
There is a significant difference between those two spirits of intent. One, the know, was in a hungry way to be in the know, to have the knowledge and be better than those who do not understand, who could not possibly know. This is the way of the social warrior who jumps in to fight the battles of the oppressed on their behalf, whether they asked me or not.
The other intent is a path to understand, to empathize, to put myself in the moccasins of another, to feel with their heart felt and deeply commune; to have compassion. I no longer wish to know so that I can speak on their behalf; my quest is not with my mind in order to use my voice. This older, gentler version of me wishes to understand with my heart so that I can use my shoulders to lift those whose voices need to be heard.
That is the difference and I believe that is why the doors are starting to open for me now. I am ready to walk through, heart first, ears wide open to learn.
I am sharing this quest to gain understanding, not to show that I know, instead, to capture the journey to comprehend; to feel along the way as I wade through the words of those who had the experiences. I will share the books I am reading and the videos I watch as I go along in case you, dear reader, wish to take this journey with me.
I have just finished Five Little Indians by Michelle Good. This story follows the lives of five children who were taken from their loving family homes to a mission school in British Columbia. The characters are fictional but their experiences are drawn from the lives of true people; the media often refers to them as survivors, but the book tells of the truth of not feeling as though they survived, pieces of them broken, never to be retrieved.
Reading this book, I understand a little bit more about the depth and breadth of the destruction that is caused when those in power choose to target the children. I think it is important to understand the past in order to not repeat it.
I would dearly love to hear from you. Have you read, learned anything which you recommend? My goal is to learn, to understand, in order to do the forgiveness work using Ho’oponopono to take responsibility to clean and clear any part I or my ancestors have had in this.
If we are all shards of one divine light, we should be able to walk on the earth in balance, hand in hand, learning from one another, should we not?