As a consulting hypnotist, Reiki, and Sound Healing practitioner, I have the good fortune to assist male clients as well as female and non-binary. I say good fortune because I am honoured to be even a small part of their spiritual awakening.
The following blessing is on the postcards that I hand out from my business, Sparks of Healing:
My greatest wish for you is that you Love Yourself. Accept yourself, as you are today. Right here, right now. Not ten pounds lighter, not ten thousand dollars richer. Right now, flat out, as is, no warranties or discounts applied.
Just Love You!
Patricia (Patty) Meier
This wish applies to both men and women. It is my firm belief that we do not need a matriarchy to take over from the patriarchy. We need balance; part of this balance requires that men are given permission to love themselves and to bring forward their caring, nurturing sides.
I was blessed with three sons; they are all grown men now, ranging from twenty-eight to thirty-one, who have provided understanding of their hopes, fears, and dreams. I recognize that these men feel as deeply as I do; gender has nothing to do with having empathy, compassion, and a deep capacity for love.
There are commonly held beliefs in the world of what a “real man” is; many of these stereotypes leave no room for sensitivity. I have had clients say that in their work capacity, they are shunned for having empathy towards their employees, peers, and customers; they are told just make money and get the job done quickly. There is no room for pride in workmanship or compassion for others. Several have left their chosen field of work to escape the toxic masculinity.
When I was younger I heard the women in my family say that men have no feelings. I remember believing that to be true. I did not know any better; certainly, the men in my family did not seem to have care for those around them. They were harsh, critical; bullying others to get their way, using mental and emotional abuse to control others; perfect examples of toxic masculinity.
I learned how incorrect these beliefs were through relationships with male friends who trusted me, who showed their true selves to me along with what matters to them in the deepest, most private places in their hearts. The further I ventured away from home, the more I recognized how incorrect my understanding had been.
Over the years, I learned more about my own father’s upbringing which led to my understanding of why he was the way he was. Never having known the love of his own mother, he learned not to count on or trust women. On his deathbed, I forgave him for the things he did not do so well and thanked him for the positive lessons and attributes he provided. I wish he had known love all through his life; I cannot change his life however I can make sure that my own sons feel my love.
Fast forward many decades to the present. I am in a loving relationship with a sensitive and strong man. It is possible for a man to be both. I wish for all the men in the world felt free to feel.
I hereby grant all men permission to have feelings and to share those feelings with someone they trust.
My hope for every client I see is to help them open up their heart just a little bit wider to let the Love come in. I want everyone to Love themselves fully and completely; to forgive themselves for anything they are holding in the shadows of their heart that is taking away from the ability to love themselves. Every human being, in any way they identify themselves should have self compassion and SELF LOVE.
Social media of old and unfortunately, some in our current time, would have us believe that “most men” are only interested in sex, alcohol, gaming, sports, and money. On top of this, men are subject to societal norms that do not allow them to express feelings.
The tropes would have us believe that “real men” are out there bringing home the bacon, sacrificing their bodies to sports or jobs that endanger their lives. What is the purpose of that and where did it begin? I guess it is easier to enlist men into the roles of protector, to get them to risk their very lives if they believe that is what they were made for? I completely disagree.
True men indeed have feelings; they have needs, and contrary to popular belief, they are not always DTF; they also like to be wooed at times, to know they are desirable, just like women.
Hollywood portrays women as helpless without a man and in the same frames, they are setting men up to believe they must have the answers, be the hero, and always be strong, no matter what. Neither portrayal are true.
I endeavor to provide a safe place for men to speak what is on their mind and open their hearts; to share their fears and heal trauma. I believe the world needs to make more space for men’s healing, where they have permission to feel their feelings, have compassion for others and most importantly to love themselves.
A balanced human…
From an energetic perspective, we all have masculine and feminine aspects within us; we come from the union of sperm and egg. We have all the same bodily systems, with a few obvious exceptions; blood flows through our veins, tears can flow from our eyes; our hearts can swell with pride, or be broken in two.
The chakra system attributes the sacral chakra to the feminine and the solar plexus to the masculine. We need balance within our own energy systems to honour both aspects of our humanness.
I want to live in a world where people care about each other, where people pursue their own dreams, not blindly follow the map someone else laid out for them.
A world where people are centered within themselves; where they are not constantly taking from others in order to fill some endless void in their hearts.
A world people trust each other and where people in relationships can have honest communication to ask for what they need, and authenticity give freely as they wish to, not what they think they should based on some crazy ideal.
While facilitating sessions for men, I invite them to let their feelings out, including tears. There is no shame in crying; science says that releasing tears biological shifts the mind in a positive way. Let feelings rise up, be felt, and then let them go. True feelings have information for us, it is important to take the time to feel any emotion that arises, ask it what it needs us to know, and then release it. Keep only the good, supportive feelings; hanging on to anger, jealousy, fear, or any other low vibration emotions in the body creates a fertile ground for illness to breed.
My wish is that men be free to speak their minds; discuss their fears, hopes, dreams, and feelings opening without concern that having these feelings impacts their manliness.
I hope every person on earth opens their heart to love themselves, that those hearts overflow with love that spills out to every other creature on earth. That is a world I would love to live in.
In Oneness,
Patricia (Patty) Meier